When people talk about not filing for divorce even though they want to, it is often the children who get the blame. They’ll note that they have kids and they want to stay together for their sake. They may talk about how negative divorce can be for children and how that wouldn’t be fair to them. They’ll worry about the long-term impact of children growing up in a family with divorced parents.
But is all of this actually true, or is it just what people believe?
The key is to look at the timeframe
The reality, though, is that both can be true. Children generally have a hard time with parental divorce right away. After a time, though, they typically adapt and adjust very well.
That point seems to be at about two years. When the parents split up, it can be hard. This is natural. There are a lot of changes — housing, custody, school situations, etc. These are hard for anyone to adjust to, and especially for children who have little control over the situation.
After they hit that two-year mark, however, most children have adjusted and they can thrive once again. Parents shouldn’t worry, these studies say, about the long-term impact. Even if children react negatively right away, that doesn’t mean divorce was the wrong decision. It just means that no one adjusts instantly.
If you are worried about this, it’s good that your children are clearly a priority. You need to know what legal options you have as you divorce to focus on them. An experienced family law attorney can help.